I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
