Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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