hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
