How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize