Whod you bang
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
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I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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