remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
