I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
