dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
