No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
