the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
