OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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