he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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