I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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