I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
