she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
