Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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