Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize