good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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