Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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