We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
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It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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