Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
