he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
COCAINE IS GR8
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
