Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
