how can u be prego again
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I see more hoeing in ur future
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