after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
