Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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