I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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