your parents love me but you hate me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
