Your tits are I can't wait for
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
