I wannas sexs uuuuu
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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