I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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