I wannas sexs uuuuu
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Green mimosas i think yes
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
