Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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