can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
