his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
