No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
