like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
