so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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