the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
