I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
