What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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