Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
