new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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