I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
