Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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