Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
