dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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