is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
