Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
