do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
sex in a hospital.. check
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
