Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
