Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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