So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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