fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
