I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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