Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize