sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
