And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
