At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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