Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
