Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
